I recently joined the RSPCA. Look, they got me where I was weak. As some of you know, I am a fairly new cat parents, inheriting my partner’s cat Dixie who I KIND of adore so much I want to die. I think I’m doing a good job of keeping it secret though, so don’t let on. So, when I saw a FREE GUIDE TO CAT BEHAVIOUR available via my targeted ads on Facebook (a completely DIFFERENT story) I’ll admit it. I clicked.
Let’s for a minute forget the fact that I already have the ultimate guide to cat behaviour. A CAT. I don’t know if you’ve read cat behaviour guides, but I myself was shocked to discover that most of the things come just from watching cats. At any rate, it was good to be able to double check that Dixie was being a cat correctly. She mostly was, and where she was doing it wrong, I told her so.
Soon enough, the RSPCA sent the behaviour guide, and inside asked whether I’d become a regular donor. I immediately liked the idea of being a ‘donor’. Being introduced at soirees as ‘one of our donors’ impresses people. Hell, I’m paying my $20 a month, I deserve it. Be sure you’re at the right type of party though. Donoring opens doors at Soirees, Banquets, Galas, Cocktails. Luncheons, Knees-Ups and MAYBE at a ‘do’. Don’t try it at a shindig though unless you want to throw down.
I know that description of the benefits of supporting the RSPCA may seem shallow. And although I’ll admit that using one’s support of animals as a personality accessory may be doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, but, having read the guide, I strongly believe it’s exactly what most cats would do. It’s CERTAINLY what Dixie would do. And so, since she is (as my partner and I have discussed in great detail) the BEST CAT IN THE WORLD, it is what I will do.
I am proud to announce that I am now available to do keynote speeches at upcoming events as an ‘animal philanthropist.’ Price negotiable but only upwards.